![The volunteers and Stella Lee happily posed for a photo, marking a successful completion of the clean-up and serving as a testimony to Stella’s fresh start. [Photo by Gary Kong]](/images/Articles/CS/2023/KL20230604_jrf01_002.jpg "The volunteers and Stella Lee happily posed for a photo, marking a successful completion of the clean-up and serving as a testimony to Stella’s fresh start. [Photo by Gary Kong]")
Everyone harbours dreams and yearns to lead the life they desire. However, the harsh reality often diverges from our dreams. Stella Lee, aged 67, found herself trapped in a chaotic living environment that mirrored the turmoil within her own heart. In the process of decluttering her physical space, she discovered a newfound sense of ease and motivation to live her life well from now on.
On the morning of June 4, 2023, a sudden downpour drenched the surroundings. However, to the relief of the volunteers arriving at the apartment where care recipient Stella Lee resides, the rain gradually subsided, and the gloomy sky gave way to warm rays of sunlight.
Before commencing the cleaning task for Stella, volunteer Hiew Ying Hui, the deputy coordinator in charge of the activity, went to Stella’s house on the second floor to invite her to go downstairs, so that the volunteers could spray disinfectant both inside and outside her house.
Stella expressed, “I feel a great sense of guilt because my home is cluttered with many things. There are also unwanted items placed by the staircase, which obstruct my neighbours’ access. I am really sorry to them, but I am unable to move everything downstairs by myself. Thankfully, all of you Tzu Chi volunteers are here today to assist me…”
As Stella, who lives alone, carefully descended the steps with the support of a walking stick, she noticed several bags and a broken shelf at the corner of the staircase, and told Ying Hui to handle those items before cleaning her house.
Ying Hui reassured her that addressing those items was already part of the volunteers’ plan. She also patiently explained the three steps involved in the cleaning process to Stella: The volunteers would show her all the items before moving them downstairs, where another group of volunteers would assist in inspecting for any important belongings. Recyclable items would be sent to the recycling centre for sorting by a different group of volunteers. Any valuable items found, such as money, documents, or jewellery, would be collected and returned to Stella.
Upon learning that a total of 53 volunteers were mobilised to ensure a smooth cleaning process, Stella expressed her gratitude, saying, “I am genuinely thankful to all of you. What you can accomplish [cleaning the house] is something I couldn’t do even in decades.”
Indeed, the cleaning task posed a huge challenge for the volunteers, as Stella’s home was cluttered with a multitude of things, ranging from food, books, clothing, and plastics, to usable and broken items. Thankfully, Ying Hui and her team had devised strategies, organising the volunteers to gather miscellaneous items into large bags, present usable items to Stella for her decision on whether to keep them, and to directly pack the rubbish in bags.
◎ A cluttered living room
Seated by the side of her bed, Stella opened up to Ying Hui, sharing her emotions. “In my younger years, I used to travel the world, thinking that the whole world was within my reach. But now, after several decades, what have I truly gained? Just a house filled with bags and bags of things… In the end, I am still all alone.” As she spoke, her gaze remained fixed on the volunteers in the living room, ensuring that each bag was opened and that she was consulted on which items should be moved downstairs.
Seeing sets of clothes hanging or scattered on the bed and floor, Ying Hui proceeded to open the wardrobe, intending to fold and organise them. However, Stella requested that the clothes be removed from the wardrobe instead, explaining that all those clothes, including those on the floor, were imported goods that she could not bear to part with. She wanted to pack them in boxes and sort through them later, one by one.
Ying Hui learned that even the boxes of clothes in the living room were imported items purchased from various foreign countries. Some of the clothes had been in Stella’s possession for over a decade and remained unworn, while some might no longer fit her.
When Ying Hui suggested the idea of donating the clothes that no longer suited her to someone in need, Stella replied that she would slowly go through them when she had free time. She added that there were many other belongings that she cherished, including a foldable piano she had bought from China for a few hundred Ringgit, and reminded the volunteers to take note of it while cleaning.
As it turned out, Stella had been a licensed tour guide since her 20s. She had visited numerous countries and collected a plethora of clothing items and souvenirs during her trips. Memories of the past flooded back as the volunteers presented these items to her. “These are casino chips. Each chip can be exchanged for RM200. I remember having over 200 of them. When you clean up, please look out for any remaining chips. This string of prayer beads is my favourite. I had been searching for it for a long time. There are a few more. Please bring them to me if you come across them…”
Upon seeing her travel photos and porcelain photo frames with pictures, Stella immediately recalled the places she had visited, like Beijing, Thailand, Indonesia, and others. The volunteers also came across a children’s bicycle, suitcases, decorative items, cosmetics, expired nutritional supplements, unopened bottles of expensive liquor, and even red envelopes containing RM1, RM10, and even RM50 notes.
As Stella examined the things, she reminisced about how she would always return from each trip with bags of items, either she purchased herself or gifted by her customers. Absentmindedly, she would stash them away, leading to their accumulation in the living room and guest rooms, making it difficult to find them amidst the clutter.
Stella also informed the volunteers that besides the many things she kept, there were two mice hidden in the clutter. As soon as she finished speaking, shrieks echoed through the living room as the volunteers discovered not just two, but multiple mice scurrying around, causing them to dodge in alarm.
◎ A result of resentment
Worried that the mice would run into the room, Stella urged Ying Hui to close the door. Ying Hui took the opportunity to once again advise her to let go of unnecessary belongings, so that she could have a clean and comfortable living environment.
Reflecting upon the past, Stella confided, “It has been 29 years since I purchased this house. Alongside my then-husband and our son, we shared a blissful life under this very roof. However, as time went by, my relationship with my then-husband began to deteriorate. Frequent arguments filled our days, and in a moment of frustration, I succumbed to a misguided plan. I started buying things and scattering those accumulated possessions throughout the house, intentionally neglecting any tidying efforts, so that my then-husband would have to deal with the mess…”
Unbeknownst to Stella, her actions, born out of desperation and a desire to make life difficult for her husband, ultimately led to the dissolution of their marriage, with her husband taking their only son away from the familiar walls of their home. In the ensuing years, though her son would visit sporadically, a palpable distance seemed to have settled between them.
Stella candidly acknowledged that her relentless pursuit of work was fuelled by her failed marriage. By then, buying and accumulating things had become second nature to her, resulting in overwhelming clutter that overtook her living room and guest rooms.
In 2014, while leading a tour, Stella suffered a sudden stroke that left her with stiffness on the right side of her body. Following her hospitalisation, her son made the decision to send her to a nursing home, due to concerns about her living alone with limited mobility.
Despite the challenges she faced, Stella refused to be defeated. She diligently underwent physical therapy and acupuncture, gradually regaining her health. Two years later, she left the nursing home and returned to her mother’s house in Ipoh for further recuperation.
In 2022, after having made significant progress in her health, Stella returned to her home in Kuala Lumpur. Initially planning to resume her career as a tour guide, she encountered the harsh reality of the COVID-19 pandemic’s impact on the tourism industry. Unable to find work and facing financial concerns, Stella shared her worries with a friend who suggested she apply for living subsidies from Tzu Chi, an organisation she was familiar with as a former monthly donor. Taking her friend’s advice, she reached out to Tzu Chi KL & Selangor for assistance.
After a home visit and thorough assessment of her household situation, Tzu Chi volunteers determined that Stella had enough resources to meet her basic needs for the time being. However, recognising that she was an elderly person living alone, they decided to include her in their care recipient list and commit to visiting her monthly to provide care. On their subsequent visits, Stella no longer mentioned the living subsidies application, but instead asked if the volunteers could help to clean her house.
Stella explained that after being away from home for many years, the dust had accumulated, and she lacked the energy to move broken furniture downstairs. Despite previously hiring cleaning services, she had experienced unreliable and unsatisfactory results. Frustrated by these experiences, she had given up on the idea of having her house cleaned. Therefore, she was pleasantly surprised when Tzu Chi volunteers readily agreed to her request.
In fact, during their first visit, the volunteers were taken aback by the disarray and clutter that filled Stella’s living room and guest rooms. Piles of belongings had accumulated, leaving only a narrow ‘pathway’ for movement, and barely any space for them to stand.
Initially, the volunteers had planned to schedule the cleaning earlier in the year but faced repeated postponements due to Stella’s unavailability. Considering the need to address the unpleasant odours and potential long-term health effects, the volunteers eventually gave her an ultimatum. It was after several twists and turns that a final date for the cleaning, June 4, was agreed upon.
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The volunteers spent five hours clearing the miscellaneous items from the balcony, living room, kitchen, and staircase. They also mopped the floors, wiped the glass windows, cabinets, and fans, as well as scrubbed the kitchen utensils and dining wares. They even took the initiative to fix the faulty kitchen faucet and arranged for an electrician to replace the faulty wiring and lights.
While it was impossible to make the entire house spotlessly clean in a single day, the living room became more spacious and tidier after the removal of clutter and rubbish. Stella herself acknowledged the positive change, saying, “Harbouring resentment towards someone is truly painful, especially when faced with piles of clutter that evoke unpleasant memories. I had been having trouble sleeping at night, but now, without the clutter, I feel much more relaxed.”
As an avid reader, Stella recalled some inspirational quotes and had a sudden realisation that only a heart free from hatred can find peace and tranquillity. With a smile, she expressed her gratitude to the volunteers for not only helping to clean up the physical clutter in her home, but also sweeping away the resentment in her heart. Now that her resentment and grudges had dissipated, she believed that she would finally be able to sleep soundly through the night.
She shared, “I have found a temporary job as a tour guide. I want to stop dwelling on the past and live the life I desire, and live it well.” As Stella and the volunteers captured the significant moment in a picture, she said with joy that the picture would serve as a reminder to always maintain purity and freedom in her life and her mind, never allowing them to become cluttered or clouded again. She also expressed her intention to volunteer at the Tzu Chi recycling centre once her job stabilises, ensuring that she lives her life without regrets.
